RUSHING! KILLER SPAM SCAM PORN FLOOD COMING!

Hold on tight, folks, because a massive tidal wave of spam is about to explode down on your email. We're talking atrocious amounts of phony emails packed with gross porn. These losers are trying to cheat you out of your hard-earned cash, so be totally vigilant. Don't click on any images in these emails, and flag them immediately. Be smart!